Well.

It is August 4th, 2011. :D

A LOT has changed since I’ve written here..

Eh..

But anyways, sorry I never wrote in this this summer.

My summer sorta sucked.

I mean it’s not over, but yeah.

What happened at Camp KV, the new place I had to go to this year:

My friend Josie was ignoring me, not hanging out with me while I was all alone..

I sat there crying, but no, she kept ignoring me to go hang out with Ana and Mahayla..

Then later in the day, I asked her why she was doing this..

She said “I can’t be around your negative energy. You always have it. You are just like Lauren.”

I sighed and got angry..

I also, by the way, was really physically sick too. I had a killer headache, and I couldn’t eat lunch.. I honestly think some of it was emotional reasons too, but yeah..

By the way again, Josie lied to me about something that I would have been there for her..

But oh well, she’s just a f****** back-stabbing bitch anyways.

But then, when I planned on going home crying to mom and pleading to not make me go there, Jaden and Jared could tell I wasn’t happy I suppose. 

At L.O.G.S., they came over to me and hung out with me, made me laugh, told me “We’re always here for you. And we’ll do anything to cheer you up.” , and more. 

Yeah, all three of us got put in time out for fooling around, but it was worth it.

Jaden also made me laugh up at the Upper Field. 

When it was time to go home, I was in a happy mood, because of them.

I got on the bus, planning to sit alone, like I always do, but then Jaden goes “I’m gonna come up there and sit with you, kay?”

I said yes in a heartbeat.

We had fun shouting Friday by Rebecca Black the whole way. : D

And we fooled around on the app Songify, and more.

He made me not go home crying.

Thank you Jaden Allen, and Jared Patterson.

You guys are amazing, and you two will always be in my heart.

Love you both. <3

But after that, I went to supper with my Memere.

I opened up to her about my depression and stuff.

It felt good.

Then she took me to Kohls to try on clothes.

Everything was going fine, and I wasn’t upset about my 142 pound stomach.

I’m almost in my mom’s pant size though.. and my mom is 220 something pounds I think.. *sighs*

So she all of a sudden said “You have a big belly. Loose some pounds. Your almost in YOUR MOM’S pant size. That’s sad.”

I got upset, but not to bad. I don’t let her get to me much anymore.

I said back in a calm tone “Look, I am content with my weight. I’ve only gained 2 pounds since March. It’s great. Nothing you say can change that.”

It went silent after.

But I had acted really good with her this time.

So an hour after I got home, she calls my mom on the phone.

And says “Victoria was negative, and had such an awful attitude.”

WHAT THE F***.

I was good, nice, everything..

After everything she says that.

Holy shit.

I’m so sick of everyone wanting me to be perfect.

I AM NOT PERFECT.

NOR WILL I EVER BE.

DEAL WITH IT, OKAY?

..Ugh.

So after all of that, I cried and sang myself to sleep.